I think that having this talk is one of the most important conversations that take place between a parent and their child. I definitely feel that this talk should take place in a quiet comfortable environment. I really do no think the setting that the talk takes place really matters as long as it is not around a large amount of people. Places like the park, a returaunt or the privacy of ones own home. Most parents should have this talk around the pre teen ages like 13. However, kids these days are alot more mature and advanced. I really think that it is at the parent's digression when this talk should take place. When discussing this subject I think it is best that it come from a parent that is of the same sex of the child. It would make things alot easier if the person that discusses this topic with the child can relate on a personal level. I know that this is not possible in all situations. There are some children that come from single parent homes. In the even that the parent is not able to have this talk with the child I feel that a positive role model, or a another family should step in and have this discussion on behalf of the parent. I am a single mother of two children. I have an eleven year old son and a four year old daughter. I put off this talk for as long as possible, but I know that it has to be done. I had "The Talk" with my son to the best of my ability with the help of his uncle.
I did some research on books that would be helpful for teens that are curious about having sex and I found a book review on a book called Let's talk about sex by Sam Gitchell.I ordered the book online at Amazon and I plan on giving it to my son for him to read when he is a little older or if he has additional questions about sex.
When I had the talk with my son I started by asking if he knew what sex is?
My son replied, " It's where a boy and a girl mate" It is like is when they try to get to have a baby.
Mother: Do your friend's talk about it.
Son: No not really. Only when somebody brings it up.
Mother: What do they say about it?
Son: They talk about who they would do it to?
Mother: I know this may make you uncomfortable to talk about this with your mom, but I want to talk to you to make sure you know what it is and understand what it is.
Mother: Sex is is a way that married couples express their love for one another. It is very important that you wait until you are married or at least a responsible adult to have sex.
Mother: Do you think that this is something you can wait until marriage to do?
Son: yes
Mother: You do know that you are supposed to wait till until you until you are married, and even if other people at your school or your friends do it doesn't a make it ok right?
Son: yes
Mother:I know you may want to fit in with your friends and do not want to be left out, but I don't want you to feel peer pressured into doing something just to fit in with your friends or to be cool.
Mother: There are alot of consquences that can come along with having sex before you are married. Especially if it is not done the right way.
Mother: If you have sex without using protection you can get a sexually transmitted disease. Some diseases like Aids there is not a cure for and you can die from it.
Mother: Do you have any questions you would like to ask me?
Son: Yes What is sperm?
Mother: Sperm is a liquid that boys produce when they reach puberty. Sperm is what fertilizes the girls egg to make a baby. Boys can reach puberty any where from 9 to 16 years old. Which means that boys and girls are able to have babies at this age while you are still a kid. You know how it bothers you when your little sister follows you around or when I ask you to help me with her?
Son:yes
Mother: Well imagine if you had a baby of your own to take care of. It would be alot harder because you would have to do everything for the baby. You would not be able to buy things for the baby because you are not old enough to work yet. That is why it is very important to wait until you are an adult and married to have sex.
Mother: I want you to know if you have any more questions, or you feel like this is something you are thinking about doing you can always come talk to me.
Mother: Is this something you would feel comfortable talking to me about ?
Son: yes
Mother: I found a book that I ordered online. Just in case there is anything else you want know that you may not feel comfortable talking to me about. Remember if you don't feel comfortable talking to me about it you can always talk to your Gi Gi or one of your Aunts. If you feel like you need to talk to a man about it you can talk to your uncle as well.